to mcv or not to mcv?

My major dilemma right now (and it is majah) is the birth plan. well, not exactly the plan b/c i know my plan, its more how and where to execute this plan. so for those who aren't aware, every birth has a birth plan (or should). this means you and your doctor, midwife, partner have discussed how you want to go about birthing - induction, c-section, natural, drugs, no drugs, etc. you are basically supposed to print this out and give it to anyone you encounter during labor so they know whats going on. so my birth plan is the standard all natural, no drugs, no cutting, no hurrying up and forcing the baby out. so here's the dilemma: i work for the hospital. therefore, the insurance coverage if i go to the hospital is good. i'd pay out of pocket almost nothing. they have midwives. my ob is very pro-natural birth (she specializes in natural childbirth), but she's also a doctor who can't do the one on one time i really want. so i figured - they have midwives, i'll just go to one of them. so i met with one who informed me that she can't do the one on one either. she also strongly suggested i go to my other option (nancy). she seemed relieved that she didn't have to explain genetic testing to me. she didn't try very hard to find a heartbeat (which is difficult b/c of where my uterus is positioned). she said i need to hire a doula (extra money). and that i am encouraged to go to the centering group. centering pregnancy involves being in a group of about 10 women who are due the same month as you. you do your normal appointments together (take your weight, blood pressure, etc together) and then sit for two hours and ask questions to a midwife. on the one hand - this seems like a great thing. the research behind it shows that it works, women have healthier babies, are more likely to deliver on time. however, i feel that i am very informed when it comes to child birth, what i want and what i need to know (thanks kate!). so sitting with a bunch of women who don't or who are on a completely different birth track really doesn't appeal to me, plus i don't really like people. i want someone who is going to take longer than ten minutes to talk to me and jack about whats going on with the pregnancy, how i'm feeling, what i want personally out of the experience. so that leads me to nancy. most women in richmond have heard of nancy - she is the go-to midwife - especially for home births. she does the one on one, she also has a birth circle that gives me the exposure of other women due around the same time as me. the issue with nacny: cost. she's covered, but its a difference of paying a lot and paying next to nothing. and the home birth. i am all for home birth. i know i can do it. i want nothing to do with a hospital birth. i'm just..nervous i guess. unsure of the outcome. b/c its my first. i think i just need the assurance. and jack is not into it- he says only because of the money issue. i was just so disappointed by my visit to the hospital that i've completely rethought the entire thing. so we meet with nancy next week. hopefully i'll get the assurance and Jack will be convinced that this will be the right thing to do.
whoo thats a lot of birthing talk. my current craving: pineapple. i didn't think my hormones were too out of whack - a little snippy with jack so far but that seemed to be it. then i watched american idol Tuesday. and i cried. i cried over the blind dude!!! what a sap! but what the hell was going on with paula's hair? it looked like she had a really bad drag queen wig on.