1 trimester down...

this morning i woke up to an icy fog surrounding our neighborhood. although it wasn't snow, it still made me happy to drive down the street through a tunnel of iced branches. now if it would just snow damnit.
i am officially through with my first trimester! yea! and with no sickness, aside from the occasional headaches, i'm sure this baby will find some other form of punishment for this pregnancy. and although i haven't had any major cravings ( i mean, i always want pizza and taco bell), i definitely discovered a major aversion to fresh fish. i'm not really showing -i just look really bloated and my pants don't fit -i'm down to three pair of jeans. the ones i'm currently wearing are tight enough that i'm afraid the button will shoot off at any moment, ricochet off my computer screen and hit malissa in the ear. although, i'd have to be sitting in a very odd position for that to happen. it would probably just discretely fall into my lap. my new pregnancy issue is being tired. and not like, man i could use some caffeine tired - like i will fall down right here and go to sleep on the nasty floor in the lab i am so tired. i have never felt like this except when i used to stay up for days driving to the beach and back. and even then i don't think i was this tired. and the problem is - its hits about 2:00 but by the time i get home, i'm pretty wide awake again and can't get to sleep until 10. and i have no problem going to bed at 7, i just can't! oh and no chance for a nap - there is nowhere to lay down at work. i'm also feeling really lazy, having not been to the gym aside from two day this past month. i just can't get motivated!too bad they don't have the pool built yet. i could definitely motivate myself to do some water aerobics.
shawn found this lamp:
that totally goes with my idea for the nursery. it's a little girly but, hey shawn likes it. i'm still on a search for bedding or fabric b/c jenny was nice enough to offer to make me bedding. but i still can't find anything i'm dying to have. the search continues...hope i don't run out of time!
i ordered all my ingredients for my organic pregnancy tea: hibiscus flowers, red raspberry leaf, lemon balm, alfalpha, spearmint, nettle, and oatstraw. normally i like to order bulk herbs and teas from mountain rose herbs but i find that they are ALWAYS out of stock of what i want. so i found this place that had everything i wanted, was pretty cheap and the shipping and handling wasn't outrageous (like mt rose is). i also ordered some tummy butter to get my scar ready for some major stretching. its smells really good - like honey and lavender and i look all slicked up and shiny- que sexy!
oh! i read twilight on saturday and i have one word...swoon! seriously edward! now i must see the movie b/c r. patz makes it so much better. and i must continue reading the series - anyone have it so i can borrow? i don't know why i've waited so long!
i think i'm going to try to make my own pizza dough. any recipe suggestions? i keep having a craving (let's not call it that...) for mary angela's pizza but jack refuses to go there and their delivery is never as good as eating there so i want to try to recreate it at home. or someone can just go with me. i'm down for the place across the river too. or prontos or the place on harrison. i'm not picky really. i just want pizza! but instead tonite i'm making spring rolls....

fun with color

i was watching the dutchess with keira knightly ( i find her lack of chest slightly disturbing) and fell in love with the colors in the costumes and set decoration. all the light blues, creams and browns and i thought - that's a pretty neutral color palate that i could do in the nursery. why i'm already planning the decoration of the nursery is beyond me. we have like 6 months. and i'm definitely not doing anything anytime soon b/c we have to paint. the walls right now are a horrible flesh tone. which, i will admit, i picked out (with jack's help) but i really hate. it makes me want to throw up a little. ANYWAY. so i decided that i will def. do the walls blue. the room has two windows and is probably the brightest room in the house, so the blue will be nice. unfortunately (for jack) i want the same blue as we have in the living room which means we (he'll) have to repaint the living room. that i think will be a nice neutral taupe and i have a chocolate brown that i may do on one or two of the walls. i say "i" like i'm actually going to paint. i'll tape.
back to the baby's room. blue walls. like the blue in her dress in the opening scene, before she marries the duke. my dilemma now is that any sort of matching crib set that i have found is WAY girly and i hate. i actually hate everything i've seen and will probably end up with white. but i've now been inspired by this:
it's a mirror i found at anthropologie. a little girly but i'm really into the colors - of which there are many. its just more fun and not as dreary as what i originally envisioned. the problem with it is its like 400$. so i won't be getting the mirror for the room. but i did find:

at ikea. way cheaper and still the same color idea. i guess i'm going away from matchy matchy and just trying to keep the same idea throughout the room. thoughts? too much? with blue walls? the thing is, we aren't going to have much furniture and what we do have is mostly being given to us so i feel ok spending a little on making the room look nice and evenif it is a little busy.
one other baby related topic: amy from alchemy has a little bit of baby fever it seems (not in that way), but she has started to carry some more eco-baby things - clothes and diaper bags which is awesome for me! and the more research she does, the more she can tell me about great products that she may not be carrying but are eco-conscious or organic or what have you like these bottles. so she's saving me some time. thanks amy!
in more exciting news: Jack and i are FINALLY getting our christmas presents! these phones are pretty much similar to iphones but we won't have to switch to AT&T. they have a pretty good camera and the internet is fast. and they have powerpoint, Microsoft office and a pdf reader on them so i may actually do some work on them. riiight. so i'll probably be playing with my phone all weekend...
if i can tear myself away from twilight! ok so i haven't really been that interested in reading the series, even though everyone i know loves it and it seems right up my alley - i love vampire stories. i just never really go that stoked about it. but my friend sarah (long lost glad to have back friend) lent me her copy and i plan to read it this weekend. so i should be pretty busy with non work related things. oh and we're going to see slumdog millionaire. it will be a good, busy weekend!

decision made.

as smart as some of you may think that i am (i'm setting myself up here), sometimes i do really dumb things. things i just don't think about. i make assumptions (and we all know what assumptions do). for instance, i assumed midwives were not covered under my insurance. i assumed i would have to pay an arm and a leg to go to a doctor that isn't at mcv. i was wrong. on both accounts. all i had to do was call the insurance company. duh. that being said: we've decided to go with nancy - and are shooting for a home birth. crisis averted, problem solved. Jack and i went to meet with her this morning and it was fantastic. although b/c of where the baby is positioned we still can't hear a heartbeat. well, nancy could but jack and i have no idea what to listen for. we heard the placenta. whatever that sounds like (apparently my heartbeat). so jack is convinced that the whole baby thing is a hoax and i brought home some other lady's ultrasound picture. i think the baby is just messing with him. good baby.
i also went to birth circle tuesday. it is made up of women birthing with nancy, of various due dates (everyone was way further along than me - except for kate who is not pregnant at the moment). people tell their birth stories and ask questions about basically anything. it was nice to hear stories about nancy, and each person had completely different experiences which was interesting to hear. one chick talked about fishing in the birth tub...i can only imagine what that means.
but more importantly lost started last nite. WHEN is the island?! it was pretty spectacular. and it looks like that redhead dies, which is sweet b/c i don't like her. her eyes creep me out. and i can't wait to figure out what miles' deal is. shouldn't he know she's dead? doesn't he talk to ghosts? where'd he get the boar? and i KNEW something was going to happen to frogurt - he was being such a spaz. i was waiting for his head to explode or something, but a flaming arrow through the chest worked well too. who was the lady in the butcher shop? who was the other old lady ben talked to at the end?! i hope charlie comes back like ana lucia b/c i love charlie. they should bring him back from the dead, forget locke. oh lost. welcome back.

gross.

so i finally caught whatever jack and kate's family had. although it could be food poisoning b/c i just realized i ate the leftover pizza that jack had eaten when he got sick. anyway, i was able to throw up everything i ate saturday whole b/c apparently digestion slows while your pregnant. actually i don't know if that had anything to do with it and i just decided to share so everyone will know how gross it was. and all i can think about is how dehydrated i am and my baby will now be permananetly damaged from it. then i remember that a lot of women get sick during this time (its called morning sickness and i guess since i never got it, my body is now making up for it) and their babies are just fine. but i finally slept a lot which i had been missing. and i got to watch shag which is a fantastic movie.
tomorrow we go to birth circle to prove to jack that not all the women that go are crunchy hippies. and my first pair of maternity jeans are in the mail. whoo hoo.

to mcv or not to mcv?

My major dilemma right now (and it is majah) is the birth plan. well, not exactly the plan b/c i know my plan, its more how and where to execute this plan. so for those who aren't aware, every birth has a birth plan (or should). this means you and your doctor, midwife, partner have discussed how you want to go about birthing - induction, c-section, natural, drugs, no drugs, etc. you are basically supposed to print this out and give it to anyone you encounter during labor so they know whats going on. so my birth plan is the standard all natural, no drugs, no cutting, no hurrying up and forcing the baby out. so here's the dilemma: i work for the hospital. therefore, the insurance coverage if i go to the hospital is good. i'd pay out of pocket almost nothing. they have midwives. my ob is very pro-natural birth (she specializes in natural childbirth), but she's also a doctor who can't do the one on one time i really want. so i figured - they have midwives, i'll just go to one of them. so i met with one who informed me that she can't do the one on one either. she also strongly suggested i go to my other option (nancy). she seemed relieved that she didn't have to explain genetic testing to me. she didn't try very hard to find a heartbeat (which is difficult b/c of where my uterus is positioned). she said i need to hire a doula (extra money). and that i am encouraged to go to the centering group. centering pregnancy involves being in a group of about 10 women who are due the same month as you. you do your normal appointments together (take your weight, blood pressure, etc together) and then sit for two hours and ask questions to a midwife. on the one hand - this seems like a great thing. the research behind it shows that it works, women have healthier babies, are more likely to deliver on time. however, i feel that i am very informed when it comes to child birth, what i want and what i need to know (thanks kate!). so sitting with a bunch of women who don't or who are on a completely different birth track really doesn't appeal to me, plus i don't really like people. i want someone who is going to take longer than ten minutes to talk to me and jack about whats going on with the pregnancy, how i'm feeling, what i want personally out of the experience. so that leads me to nancy. most women in richmond have heard of nancy - she is the go-to midwife - especially for home births. she does the one on one, she also has a birth circle that gives me the exposure of other women due around the same time as me. the issue with nacny: cost. she's covered, but its a difference of paying a lot and paying next to nothing. and the home birth. i am all for home birth. i know i can do it. i want nothing to do with a hospital birth. i'm just..nervous i guess. unsure of the outcome. b/c its my first. i think i just need the assurance. and jack is not into it- he says only because of the money issue. i was just so disappointed by my visit to the hospital that i've completely rethought the entire thing. so we meet with nancy next week. hopefully i'll get the assurance and Jack will be convinced that this will be the right thing to do.
whoo thats a lot of birthing talk. my current craving: pineapple. i didn't think my hormones were too out of whack - a little snippy with jack so far but that seemed to be it. then i watched american idol Tuesday. and i cried. i cried over the blind dude!!! what a sap! but what the hell was going on with paula's hair? it looked like she had a really bad drag queen wig on.

and i'm back

so my life had gotten a little more exciting and i've been inspired (plus all the demand!) to bring back the blog. main reason being:
the little peanut hanging out in my backwards uterus. we talked about trying,we tried a little, we talked about trying again in a year but the little blueberry (my favorite nickname although it is now the size of a prune) was just begging to be conceived. we found out christmas morning (a christmas miracle!) and i am now 10wks, due aug 11.
so this blog will most def now be taking a baby-fied turn, but with lost returning next week i'm sure there will be some tv talk mixed in.