In response to recent home birth haters: my own non-scientific theories

http://press.thelancet.com/editorials3107.pdf

Its interesting that this editorial came out so soon after the meta-analysis that "determined" that home births are more dangerous than hospital births. The entire meta analysis was flawed - the studies that they used were outdated, did not specify between midwife assisted and spontaneous home births ("I didn't know I was pregnant!"), nor did they separate out healthy, low risk pregnancies versus high risk. And unfortunately so many people - doctors - see this study and use it as the word of God when it comes to advising against home births. The lancet editorial does a little bit of a better job - it mentions the meta analysis but also mentions the flaws. I'll be interested to see the data when the new study they mention comes out.
And maybe all this attention to home birthing has me on home birth alert, but lately a fellow home birther and i have been discussing the benefits of home birth versus hospital versus midwife assisted hospital births. My baby, born at home, had no jaundice, scored a 10 out of 10 on her apgar, and was basically as good as you get. The question of jaundice came up b/c all of the home birthers we've talked to never had jaundiced babies. Almost every hospital birther i've asked has. So this leads to the question - what is the reason for this discrepancy (and more importantly, why have OBs not been aware of this)? Is it the fact that the home birth baby is immediately allowed to breastfeed, on demand, no interruptions from the moment they're born until...they stop breastfeeding? Is it the immediate skin to skin contact? Is it the unmediated, vaginal birth? Its probably all of these things. But the evidence (based on our own flawed, nonscientific study) is pretty clear: these babies born without any interventions end up looking and acting much healthier than the "safe at the hospital" babies. But this polling led to this follow up: almost all home birthing moms had no problems breastfeeding. sure, there were initial " i have no f'n clue what we're doing" latch problems, but there were no milk supply issues in any of these moms (myself included). But almost all of the hospital birth moms I know have had supply issues, and definite issues with latching that have lasted well past the first week. So what is this about? My theory - again, the baby is allowed to be with the mom from the minute they're born, no one is whisking them away to bathe them, test them, stick them in the nursery. Mom and baby are basically forced to figure it out and keep trying until they get it right at home. And i think that the constant trying, latching, absolutely no introduction of bottle, helps. Could it signal to the hormones to make milk and keep on making it whereas if there is a lag time between trying - either b/c the baby isn't in the room, or there was a bottle feed so the mom could get some sleep - that messes with the hormonal signals?* its very possible. again - its my own theory. its extremely interesting that i've heard the same two sides from the two groups of moms.
of course, i'm completely biased. i had an awesome experience and i want everyone to have the same experience. what me and my friend both find so frustrating is this: you work so hard on doing the right things during the pregnancy - eating right, exercising, not drinking, smoking... and you work so hard to get everything perfect for the new baby - the best and safest. but when it comes to the actual birth and labor - everything goes out the window and moms just want to get through it with out realizing how incredibly important the actual act of birthing is and how much it affects both the mom and the baby. i wish the birthing classes spent more time on this point than anything else. maybe one day, i'll start my own birthing class.

*"Scheduling feedings for a baby or spacing feedings out more and more during the day (or night) will lead to the same decrease in milk production. Emptying the breasts frequently leads to an overall increase in milk production." http://lactinv.com/breastfeeding_qna.php?article=maintaining_your_milk_supply
-could this happen so early on it affects milk supply for the rest of post-partum?

Taking back your brith

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38129344/ns/health-pregnancy/

This article was so startling and real (and not to mention astounding that it was run on msnbc), it really hit me. I felt for this woman. It made me wonder how often this actually happens? People are so lucky to be able to do birth the way that they want to (be it at home, in the hospital, natural, induced...) that experiences like hers are baffling, tragic, and awful. A woman should never be traumatized by the birth of her child. She should be overjoyed, proud, excited. I hope her next birth does go the way she wants it, the way it should be.

on my mind....

-living in the pacific northwest. not any time soon mind you. but it will happen. as long as i can get a job. inspired by parasol party's recent trip. and twilight, of course.
-vacation in new orleans - this would be a vacation filled with eating. thats about all i want to do there. eat. and search for vampires. and stay in a really nice, southern mansion.
-vacation to lakes/on lakes and lake vacation homes. perhaps next summer....
-redecorating/rearranging - babys room done. front room done, jack's room is next. just going in there makes me want to throw many things away and start all over. hold me back.
-birthday party planning. like i said, post to come.
-menu planning. cooking. eating at as many new restaurants or old ones that i love (Aziza, Sheba, Olio). i am determined to try the strawberry beer at can can's (and have another brisket hash benedict - the stuff dreams are made of). today checked off major Tan A shopping trip and vietnamese bakery for banh mi. the bread was INCREDIBLE and the hot sauce made it awesome. brunch tomorrow - TBD but in the running: stronghill and lamplighter. and lovely husband is letting me go sans baby. tomorrow could be awesome. plus i'm making egg rolls and dumplings. which making isn't so awesome but eating them is.
-birthday gifts for nieces, nephews and daughter. i like to make their birthdays special since christmas is always such a clusterfuck.
-new babies! so many friends having babies recently. very exciting!!
-making it up to the mountains soon. and some sort of peach/berry picking while there would be nice.

baby birthday - one month away

The baby's first birthday is coming up in a month! I cannot believe this little fat thing will be a year old. And she's so incredibly different from a year ago. It is absolutely amazing how much growing a little human can do in their first year. craziness. And with her birthday coming up, I get to do two things I love the most: plan a party (woodland theme!) and shop. first the shopping:

these are awesome, but really unnecessary:

from: http://www.tiffanyard.com/prints.htm

definitely one of these:

she's not walking yet, hopefully she can push this thing along. and i really want to get her her own chair like this:

and most definitely a zoobie. she's also really starting to get into baby dolls and stuffed animals - so maybe a webkin. she loves st hug them and say "awwww". shes turning into such a little girl and not a baby!

i will make a separate post for the birthday party plans. I've already enlisted a planner and a cake master.

I took the baby on a playdate with another fat,blonde, blue-eyed baby (cuteness overload) to stony point to lay in the fountains. we were a little worried it would be a bit much for them - but they both LOVED it. merit had the best time sticking her finger into the water spout and then promptly and repeatedly getting sprayed in the face. but, more importantly, while we were there i stopped into anthropolgie and found two dresses that i must stalk until they go on sale:

and this swim suit that i have been watching for months and still hasn't gone on sale:

ah, if only i had a large gift card to spend there.....or if it was MY birthday.

Nursing rights and following a new pediatrician

There was a recent Giving Birth with Confidence blog carnival focusing on nursing rights. I myself have never had a problem nursing in public - well, never a problem with someone kicking me out of a restaurant, etc. personal problems, yes. When I first ventured out of the house with baby at 2 and 3 weeks old I was extremely hesitant to nurse. Not exactly because I was shy, but more because she and I still did not have the hang of it. The problem was, we were out with my sister in law who, after five kids, was a pro at whipping out the boob anytime, anywhere and keeping herself well covered. So when I got a lot of shit from both her and my husband for not doing it in public, I worked very hard to become super comfortable with it - especially with doing it without any sort of nursing cover. I started with the blanket over baby. Then I finally got myself a nursing cover and attempted to use that when in public. But it just became a hassle. As she got older and I didn't have to support her head as much it became much easier. I shed the nursing cover (which my sister in law also scoffed at) and am now just as comfortable as that mother of five. Probably a bit too comfortable b/c I will now nurse whenever and wherever. I try to be conscious of who I'm around (for example, I nursed in a different room when at a co-workers house, who's wife and neighbors I had met for the first time) and don't get too worked up if I do need to move into another room. Although many advocates would claim my actions were limiting my right to nurse in public, I don't really mind. And often, around friends who don't have children, I ask if they're comfortable with it before I start. Which is funny, b/c out in public, at a restaurant for example, I have no problem nursing. I guess I'm willing to be a little more discreet with people I have to see everyday. But they get used to - as my brothers did after awhile and soon its no big deal. And its nice to know that.

We're shopping around for a new pediatrician. Jack is the one going to all the appointments and he is not impressed by the doctor we go to. Sure, he's a good doctor, and home birth friendly. But according to Jack, "he doesn't tell him anything he doesn't already know or could look up". And we have an issue with another doctor in the practice. The problem with finding a new pediatrician - there are very few who are truly home birth friendly. My home birth group ("Nancy moms") have a running list of doctors they go to that Nancy recommends. Our current pediatrician is on that list. This new pediatrician we are considering is not. But the things I'm learning about him suggest he eventually could be... he is very pro breastfeeding, seems to be willing to attend to different vaccine schedules (not that we care much about that as we vaccinate on a slightly alternate but relatively CDC friendly schedule), and, from what I've been able to find out, has no negative opinion towards home birthing. I'd still like to talk to him before we decide. He has a couple of other pros - self proclaimed soccer fanatic, a twitter account under the name Dr Spiky Hair (is that a pro or con? not sure yet - I'll follow him and find out!), and we know his brother so we can get some inside dirt on him. Hopefully Jack will be willing to pursue this and quit his bitching about the current doc.

the baby is growing up...

i'm having a major baby dilemma. it's time for her to move out of our bed and into the crib. and i just don't want to do it! this has been a point of contention with my husband and i for some months now, as she's gotten bigger and has adopted her new favorite sleeping position - head in my chest, feet in dad's back (kick kick kick). i love her sweet snuggly body next to mine all night, b/c she does wiggle right up next to me and it is by far the cutest thing. but i know, although i don't really want to admit it, that moving her into a crib is best for her and us. her late bed time means that i have to be up while she is, sometimes until midnight. and she nurses almost constantly while she's trying to go to sleep which, at a point, drives me up the wall. so going down in her own room would mean much more sleep for mommy. but she still wakes up in the middle of the night to nurse and the idea of having to get up, get her out of bed, nurse her in her room and try to get her to go back to sleep just doesn't appeal to me nor do i think it will be very easy - for me or her. its so much easier to just roll over and let her nurse while i go back to sleep. but maybe she won't want to nurse as much if the milk isn't right in her face. i don't know. and i won't know until we try it. so we're going to try it. i think this weekend. i'm torn - i want this to happen but i don't. but i know realistically that she can't stay in our bed forever and my goal was to have her out by the time she's one. and that time is very soon. i really didn't expect to have such a hard time letting her go.....sad face. any suggestions to make it easier? my first thought was to have her in the cosleeper next to us and then ease her into her room. but now i think that would be worse, b/c we'd be right there but she couldn't be next to us, and that would just piss her off. i also thought putting her down for naps in her crib for awhile first may make her more used to the crib and she'd be more willing to go down at night there. or mayeb let her fall alseep with me in our bed and then move her (but i'm afraid that would piss her off too)? i know only a few moms that do cosleep, but i know all moms have had to move kids into their own rooms. maybe we should have done it much earlier?
we're also trying to discourage the pacifier. it has now been put off limits except at night or naps (although this is not a hard and fast rule b/c it comes out often in the car). i got some great advice from jenny that we need to take it away before she can ask for it. and since she's starting to talk and point at things she wants, now is a good time. i don't even think she really cares - its more for us (terrible, but we really use it to keep her quiet if she's super fussy).
so two big steps to her moving on and growing up. these will probably be harder on mom than anyone else.

and we're back!

Oh my goodness! two weeks have absolutely flown by! and so many changes in my baby over that time i can hardly believe it. South Africa was absolutely amazing. fantastic trip. the baby, despite all my irrational fears, was a perfect little angel on the flight there - even with her first ever cold (the dosings of benadryl to contain copious amounts of snot may have helped). on the flight back she slept almost the entire time too. and we had no problems adjusting to the six hour time change. i think the overnight flight really helps.  we relaxed. slept in until 11:30 every day, drank wine, played with the baby, watched soccer. i went to a glass bead making class which was really cool, although slightly scary lighting the giant torch. we (of course) attended some world cup games, visited a nature preserve and saw elephants, zebra, giraffe, and a lion preserve where we got to pet lion cubs. all in all extremely cool. and miss m started to really get good at pulling herself up to standing, saying "Hi!!" and "Bye!" and "Uh oh..", waving, crawling - especially to find us, and eating solid foods. i mean she just really grew up while we were there. very exciting.
what was really interesting was the culture in regards to children there. first of all people LOVED merit. i mean, how could you not? but seriously - men, women, kids, adults, african, afrikaaner, indian, chinese. it didn't matter. they would hold her (like literally take her and walk around with her - which really freaked out jack but she loved it), talk to her, give her cookies, rub her arms, hold her hands, touch her cheeks, make faces at her. it was crazy. and she totally loved it. we would walk into a place and she would immediately start with her waving and  "hi!hi!hi!" so people would come over to see her. but we saw very few other children her age out. according to jack's mom, although S.A. is child friendly, you'd never see them b/c everyone has nannies and the kids stay at home. very strange. but the other great thing was i got absolutely no looks whatsoever nursing her in public. not on the plane or anywhere else. it was extremely refreshing. these are just things that don't happen in the states. people aren't comfortable with other people's children,people are too scared that some crazy parent is going to accuse them of hurting their child. and of course, it happens and you have to be cautious but i'm afraid we're overly cautious. and its a shame b/c it just makes our children uncomfortable in public. obviously it starts at home, teaching children who is ok to talk to and not, what to do when a stranger asks you into their car...but to just be able to go out and other people enjoy your kid and help you out if you need it without fear of CPS being called on them, it was refreshing. and the breastfeeding in public - so great! i mean, we do it here and i think the attitude is not what it used to be, but there is NO attitude there. it was nice. i'll miss you south africa.