one more day?!

the past two months have flown by. i can't believe i have to go back to work tomorrow and leave my little one home (with daddy-lucky lucky man)! i have mixed feelings about this - i know i want to go back to work and will get stir crazy eventually. but everyone knows how nice it is to wake up (late) and have absolutely nothing you have to do. and i'm not particularly stoked about pumping at work, finding a parking spot, being completely out of my element in a brand new job, leaving my baby! i feel extremely unprepared BUT i'm also excited to start something new.

the past couple of days the baby has been spitting up a little more than normal, so she's not agreeing with something i've been eating. i thought it was shellfish (i made a great paella with mussels). but now i'm thinking its beer. i haven't had beer since i got pregnant and i've been drinking it the past few nites and...BARF. so i guess no more beer for awhile. at least its not wine.

and after months and months of talking - i finally finished her pillow! i didn't use any kind of pattern or instructions, hence the corners are all a little wonky. i tried to do a "quilted"-esq look with the different fabrics i had. i pretty much love it and its soo soft!
and i have some fabric left over to use for something else. i've now decided i want to make her a nice blanket b/c she doesn't have one that is really "HERS" - everything we have are hand-me downs. with the exception of the blanket made by the nuns that we won't talk about here.
did i mention my baby has finger toes?

the mummas and i went to see lady gaga Monday nite - no pictures b/c i rely on Shawn for pics and his camera died. it was at the landmark -general admission, so we were very worried about getting decent seats. we got there relatively early and were able to have fantastic front row upper balcony seats and the show was amazing! short (she was only on for an hour) but seriously entertaining. plus she sang live which is always a plus. and the people there were ridonkulous - no one should wear leotards after age 7. seriously.

and i freaking love this weather! we're already planning apple picking, halloween, one year anniversary! i love fall. i love october. and october means november which means thanksgiving and my birthday (big 3-0!). i want these for my baby for the cold weather: baby leggings

link list

things i am excited about:
-cupcakes in carytown - although they'll only be open as long as they have cupcakes, i won't have to keep trying to make it out to short pumps' two sweet.
-green day the musical
-raspberry ice cream cake
-Halloween around the corner: richmond zombie walk and blood lake!
-chocolate cake recipes
-science and food (explanations) = my heaven
-TMBG Here comes the science - i found this searching for kids music for merit - LOVES!
-who knew? 75 things you can compost

I made a cake for merit's one month birthday/grandparents day and we celebrated last nite - good excuse for that cake! she and i ventured out to the grocery store yesterday and it was certainly not as bad as i imagined, now i feel ready to take her anywhere! she's getting so big i can't believe it - i miss her tiny newborn self but i love how much more interactive she is - eye contact, smiles, cute little dinosaur noises.
i have been completely inspired by shawn to make that pillow (i mean, if he can do it so can i!) and found a couple of quilt/pillow patterns to stitch together (harhar). i realized today, in talking to a friend, that i waste so much of my time, just being lazy. i try to make excuses (the baby won't let me put her down!) but really its just me, so i am determined to get stuff done - i have so many books to read, things to sew, clothes to go through, work/writing to do. and so many things i want to do - no more putting stuff off. but then again, maybe its the coffee talking. i do miss the feeling of accomplishment. so thats my goal for the next two weeks before work starts - and from then on!
and check out the amazingly cute hat helen got my little blueberry:

baby face

i know it gets kind of silly and redundant, but i love that everything we're doing now consists of merit's "firsts" - first soccer game (yea kickers - league champs!!), first mall trip (very important), first bath (yea at three weeks she stunk), first birthday party for her first friend (happy 1 year millie!), first trip to the farmers market...its fun to categorize. and she and mom are getting pretty good at going out. not quite ready to tackle much by ourselves - i'm still very apprehensive about the grocery store. i'm having issues with the slings i have. i feel like they're too small but i think i'm just not wearing them correctly. help? but i have the amazing (and amazingly comfortable) mei tai carrier that jenny made me and i love. i just need to practice getting her in it by myself, b/c so far jack has had to help me.what i've realized is i'll never be able to do anything quickly again. car seat, sling, stroller, back in the car seat - no more "running in" to do anything. it's kind of nice though. she has forced me to slow down.

i also realized now how creative/untalented i am when i finally got her name painted on the birth tub, along with what is supposed to be a poppy. i didn't even bother to take a picture b/c its pretty bad. but at least its done and returned for the next lucky girl.

i feel a little lost and unproductive, but at the same time more relaxed than ever. this was the best way to end grad school, with a nice quiet two months. well, two months filled with nursing and trying to write in between nursing. and lots of buffy. TONS of buffy. already through the fourth season! i've also started reading the sookie books aka the true blood books. easy reading and a good break from all the baby books. i have such nice friends to lend me these things and keep me occupied!

i am starting to get antsy to do something. some sewing, baking, cooking. its hard to get the time in between her naps and i usually waste the precious time she does allow me just sitting, staring at her. or trying to take a shower. so my new to do list includes:
-making personal peach/raspberry cobblers in ramkins so i don't overdo the sweets
-getting that gd pillow made
-going through maternity clothes, putting them away and finding jeans that fit again
-oh and finishing all work for graduation. that should be number one.
but with this fall-like weather that i absolutely love all i want to do is hang out outside, go apple picking, and get ready for halloween.

and the best baby face:

2 wk bday

happy 2 week birthday to my cute little baby. i feel like she's already grown so much (we find out exactly how much tues when we take her back for a check-up). she makes funny little faces and noises and although she sleeps a lot, i love the moments when her eyes are wide open and you know she's just thinking "what the f is going on?!"

dee dee (grandma on daddy's side) is in town from south africa so i've had a little time to myself today - grocery store trip, made copious amounts of ice tea and pasta salad, updating this here blog! i really should be working..i'll get to that later. we also had a breakfast outing this week (mmm my new craving is all things breakfast related) and a lunch outing tomorrow. taking her out is not as hard as i thought it would be, once i get the hang of slings i'll be good to go. my main worry now is boob leakage. i ventured out to work on tues evening and immediately leaked through my shirt. i had to rush in my office and put on a jacket before my boss caught me. embarrassing. but otherwise - i think i am getting a handle on this whole baby thing. i'm trying to keep up with pumping so we have plenty stocked up for my return to work (and to combat leakage). and let me just mention that pumping is by far the weirdest. weird looking, feels weird, just WEIRD.

i'm wearing almost normal jeans already - although i wish i still needed to wear maternity jeans. those things are so comfortable! i say almost normal b/c they still have a bit of stretch in the waist. but i've lost a lost of my belly and can't wait to start wearing real clothes again. my fingers are still too swollen to wear my rings, which makes me very sad. and i'm nervous to try on my shoes in case my feet grew. but overall, things are starting to get back to our new normal.

and now i need to figure out how i'm going to make her a pillow with all the princess fabric i bought. new project that i am almost feeling the urge to make! almost. i still love hanging out in bed all day with my daughter, watching court tv and buffy.

and she's out!

Merit Alice was born Aug 14, 2009 at 10:16 in the morning after mom's 10 hour "what the hell is happening to me?!" labor. i thought i might describe it, as most people ask how it went. I'm not sure everyone actually wants to know, so if not, skip this post! (blair)
i had absolutely no warning. in my mind everyone's labor starts out slow so you can "do life" as our birthing teacher told us. i mean, people work until their water breaks right? so when i started feeling like i had cramps, i thought maybe by saturday she would come. at midnite, i went to bed. but the cramps kept coming HARD every 15 min or so. i would sleep in between moans. jack was passed out the entire nite. by 3/4am I called nancy to give her a heads up b/c by now they were maybe 5 minutes apart and excruciating. like the worst menstrual cramps ever. and there was the mucous plug....gross. so now i am moaning, bleeding, screaming, cursing, and clawing jack as he sleeps. he would wake up every third contraction or so to pet me and remind me to breathe (b/c i def stopped doing that a lot). by 7:30 i thought i was going to die and just wanted nancy to come over (actually i just wanted to get in the birth tub which i'm not allowed to do until she got here). she had an appt at 8 - and damn it if that bitch wasnt 20 min late! (and i know who you are b/c you make our appts late every friday!) so that made nancy late getting over here. meanwhile i'm thinking "i completely understand drugs. if i was at the hospital i would be begging for someone to punch me and knock me out". and i'm screaming. scaring jack, scaring the dog, probably scaring merit enough that she's rethinking coming out of this crazy woman's uterus. i thought the screaming would help, but it didnt. nancy instructed me to walk around which i tried. i got as far as my bedroom door before another contraction would come. then i'd have to bend over the bed and yell. (i ended up really hurting my throat by the end of it all). FINALLY nancy arrived but wouldnt let me in the tub b/c it was too hot. so i waited while jack changed the water, nancy checked me - 9cm! almost ready to push! i have to admit, if she had gotten there earlier and i was at 5 or even 7 i think it would have really screwed with me and i wouldnt have been able to do as much as i did. so once i get in the tub, its basically time to push. fantastic. the contractions seemed to slow a little bit in the water (or were way less intense) and i was able to sleep - actually sleep between pushes. after the most painful pushing i've ever done (imagine not pooping for over a month and being extremely constipated and then forcing it out. yeah. exactly.) she tumbled out into the water - with her "veil" (my water never really broke so the amniotic sac was still around her) and with her extra long cord wrapped around her neck, shoulders, each arm and chest. it was pretty freaking incredible. i kept trying to sneak counts at her fingers and toes - but they're all there with no extras. and she has all this dark hair - which i love b/c i had black hair when i was born. she's totally cute. and teeny tiny.
and i'm sore. sooo sore. but like everyone says - its totally worth it. although i def won't be doing THAT for quite awhile.
and me being the fantastic geneticist that i am forgot to get her genetic screening done at the dr.'s on monday, so we're venturing out by ourselves tomorrow. everything is going well. i love being at home with her and we're both slowly getting the hang of breastfeeding. she actually slept for 4 hours straight last nite. i have to admit, i loved being pregnant but i am loving this even more.

getting birth ready...

Today kate and maryann came over for my blessing way. a blessing way is basically a shower for the mom-to-be, but more of a celebration of her giving birth. usually its really crunchy and spiritual with people braiding her hair and singing kumbaya. but since i am so not like that (and thankfully neither are kate or maryann), it was just a nice afternoon. they cleaned out the birthtub and brought it inside, got the nursery ready (more than i ever could), and basically made the house birth ready. we realized the living room is too bright to labor in and began putting curtains and sheets over the windows. they decided i needed positive things to focus on, and put up pictures around the house (including a lovely flower that looks like a vagina, right over the bed-ahh soothing). maryann drew an incredible family portrait of me, jack and the new baby that i absolutely love! we made beaded anklets and henna'd my feet. so it was maybe a little crunchy and kumbaya. but fun. and much needed!
(the bears were out! so exciting - i haven't seen them in years)
Saturday we took our niece maillie out for her birthday. mcdonalds (never plan to actually eat at a mcd's. thats all i have to say about that), maymont. we walked there and back and all over the park, with maillie taking pictures of every animal we saw. i was quite proud of myself considering i am 9 mo pregnant and haven't done anything physical in those 9 mos. and i wasn't even hurting the next day! totally surprising to me. although i did sleep really really well.(trolls - jack and maillie)

so it looks like baby is still cooking and won't be making her entrance anytime soon. in fact, it seems as those nancy doesn't expect her at least until next week, if not the week after. although i learned that the baby's developing endocrine system triggers the onset of labor and therefore labor won't begin until the baby is mature enough. so she still has a little growing to do and will come when she's good and ready! which is ok with me. although i have to admit, i'm getting a little burnt out on the preparing for birth reading, videos, etc. i think i'll switch to some good fiction (aka harry potter, stephen king - you know, classics!) and then get back into some baby books by the end of the week.

and tonite i get my indian food!!

baby mode

so i said i wasn't nesting and yet... i've since made banana bread, PICKLES (with cukes from my garden!), tomato sauce, jambalaya, au gratin potatoes (from scratch, not a box)...its nice to want to cook again since i haven't wanted to in 9 months. i've also cleaned the house - including all the windows, we've hung some pictures, i've done a crap load of laundry.... so yea, if thats nesting i'm totally doing it. although in my head its more a matter of need - this needs to get done before the baby or it won't ever get done. so call it what you will.
i'm getting scolded on all sides for not being in "baby mode" and working too much. which is funny b/c, yes i've been at work and finishing up one last experiment (done tomorrow!!), but if i don't get it done, its all i'll think about. the writing can wait, the lab work cannot. but i swear that i am done friday. good luck getting me back in after that! and then its all about some baby time. so lets hope i dont go into labor saturday so i can enjoy baby mode. and one last trip to the pool....
i've been meaning to post this for awhile but the baby room is almost done (the damn crib and its missing pieces is killing me!) but here is a pic of the curtains jenny made:
they go so well and the pink lining turns the whole room a deep pink when the light shines through. its pretty cool. and yet, not as girly as one might think! we also finally got a co-sleeper that fits our room and her laundry is ready to go. bring this baby on! and when she comes, please bring me this as well: (icebox cake courtesy martha stewart)
any day now....