Pondering doula-ing

I'm seriously considering doula training and becoming a doula/birth assistant. The training isn't until January and I need to get my deposit in by November, so I have some time to think about it. To be a doula, I feel like most that I've met are very quiet, relaxed, zen. that isn't really me. I am however, very forceful, a "bulldog" as one friend put it, when it comes to defending or needing to stand up for something (as so often doula's do during the labor when the mother can't speak to the doctor herself). I also understand and know a lot of medical jargon and am not intimidated by doctors. I went to school with a lot of them - they are no smarter than me, that's for sure. just more specialized. I am also so passionate about healthy births and birthing for the mother and baby, not for the doctor, which is what makes me want to do this. I love being able to support someone, in whatever decision they choose. I feel like doulas need to be there not only for the easy, natural births, or home births, but mothers going through labor who end up with c-sections, who have complicated pregnancies, those who probably need the support even more so. Which is why I'm considering "selling myself" (for lack of a better term) as one who can help with births where genetic disorders and congenital birth defects play a role. Although these women are the high risk category, they too may want as natural an experience as they can have, and they need more support. With my background in genetics I definitely feel i could help. so....thoughts?

The woodland party first birthday post!

Finally! I've been so busy at work, which is (shh!) where i do most of my blogging, that I have completely neglected not only my blog, but reading other blogs! booo!!! i have so much to catch up on - recipes, crafty things...i have found a little bit of time to find a new tattoo idea and a recipe for buffalo chickpea salad. in the meantime, i've also been working on a new embroidery project full of woodland creatures that is long overdue as a gift for someone and rereading harry potter (starting at book 5) to get ready for nov. 19 when deathly hallows part 1 comes out.

So onto baby's first birthday! much thanks to malissa without whom it wouldn't have looked half as nice. unfortunately we didn't get quite as many pictures as i would have liked - the food labels were quite inventive! but the food was fantastic (pork carnitas will be my new go-to slow cooker recipe, and taquitos will be on the menu regularly as well - anyone have any tips for rolling corn tortillas? our kept ripping). We had a huge turnout - i didn't realize merit knew so many little babies! The only hiccup - I found an underground bee's nest in the backyard hours before the party. since we normally do everything in the backyard, everyone ended up staying inside mostly which made for a very crowded house.

The favors: handmade felt stuffed woodland creatures  (and acorns and mushrooms). it took me forever to finish these, and no one took them. I think next time, i'll save my time and not worry about favors. but they (mostly) turned out cute!

The cake: the cake and cupcakes were made by my friend martina (with the help of unky shawn). freaking amazing!!! we looked all over the internet for ideas and came up with a personal cake for merit in the shape of a toadstool (complete with inchworm, grass, bees...) and a to die for red icing! i think i just love sugar crystals all over anything. the cupcakes came in two flavors: strawberry with a strawberry filling and chocolate with  a gooey chocolate center. sooo good!!! and the decorations - incredible!!! i really think she needs to go into business or get her own reality show. she would def. be great on a reality show. maybe a little foul mouthed but at least she's creative about it.

her new dolly.

she learned quickly to defend her presents from her cousins.

the end. i wish i had some better pictures, but the day was so busy i didn't even think to take pictures! and everyone showed up right on time, which i wasn't expecting so i had no lag time b/w when everything was set up and everyone showed up. oh well, it was wonderful and i thank EVERYONE who helped me.
so next year the theme will be.......

In response to recent home birth haters: my own non-scientific theories

http://press.thelancet.com/editorials3107.pdf

Its interesting that this editorial came out so soon after the meta-analysis that "determined" that home births are more dangerous than hospital births. The entire meta analysis was flawed - the studies that they used were outdated, did not specify between midwife assisted and spontaneous home births ("I didn't know I was pregnant!"), nor did they separate out healthy, low risk pregnancies versus high risk. And unfortunately so many people - doctors - see this study and use it as the word of God when it comes to advising against home births. The lancet editorial does a little bit of a better job - it mentions the meta analysis but also mentions the flaws. I'll be interested to see the data when the new study they mention comes out.
And maybe all this attention to home birthing has me on home birth alert, but lately a fellow home birther and i have been discussing the benefits of home birth versus hospital versus midwife assisted hospital births. My baby, born at home, had no jaundice, scored a 10 out of 10 on her apgar, and was basically as good as you get. The question of jaundice came up b/c all of the home birthers we've talked to never had jaundiced babies. Almost every hospital birther i've asked has. So this leads to the question - what is the reason for this discrepancy (and more importantly, why have OBs not been aware of this)? Is it the fact that the home birth baby is immediately allowed to breastfeed, on demand, no interruptions from the moment they're born until...they stop breastfeeding? Is it the immediate skin to skin contact? Is it the unmediated, vaginal birth? Its probably all of these things. But the evidence (based on our own flawed, nonscientific study) is pretty clear: these babies born without any interventions end up looking and acting much healthier than the "safe at the hospital" babies. But this polling led to this follow up: almost all home birthing moms had no problems breastfeeding. sure, there were initial " i have no f'n clue what we're doing" latch problems, but there were no milk supply issues in any of these moms (myself included). But almost all of the hospital birth moms I know have had supply issues, and definite issues with latching that have lasted well past the first week. So what is this about? My theory - again, the baby is allowed to be with the mom from the minute they're born, no one is whisking them away to bathe them, test them, stick them in the nursery. Mom and baby are basically forced to figure it out and keep trying until they get it right at home. And i think that the constant trying, latching, absolutely no introduction of bottle, helps. Could it signal to the hormones to make milk and keep on making it whereas if there is a lag time between trying - either b/c the baby isn't in the room, or there was a bottle feed so the mom could get some sleep - that messes with the hormonal signals?* its very possible. again - its my own theory. its extremely interesting that i've heard the same two sides from the two groups of moms.
of course, i'm completely biased. i had an awesome experience and i want everyone to have the same experience. what me and my friend both find so frustrating is this: you work so hard on doing the right things during the pregnancy - eating right, exercising, not drinking, smoking... and you work so hard to get everything perfect for the new baby - the best and safest. but when it comes to the actual birth and labor - everything goes out the window and moms just want to get through it with out realizing how incredibly important the actual act of birthing is and how much it affects both the mom and the baby. i wish the birthing classes spent more time on this point than anything else. maybe one day, i'll start my own birthing class.

*"Scheduling feedings for a baby or spacing feedings out more and more during the day (or night) will lead to the same decrease in milk production. Emptying the breasts frequently leads to an overall increase in milk production." http://lactinv.com/breastfeeding_qna.php?article=maintaining_your_milk_supply
-could this happen so early on it affects milk supply for the rest of post-partum?

Taking back your brith

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38129344/ns/health-pregnancy/

This article was so startling and real (and not to mention astounding that it was run on msnbc), it really hit me. I felt for this woman. It made me wonder how often this actually happens? People are so lucky to be able to do birth the way that they want to (be it at home, in the hospital, natural, induced...) that experiences like hers are baffling, tragic, and awful. A woman should never be traumatized by the birth of her child. She should be overjoyed, proud, excited. I hope her next birth does go the way she wants it, the way it should be.

on my mind....

-living in the pacific northwest. not any time soon mind you. but it will happen. as long as i can get a job. inspired by parasol party's recent trip. and twilight, of course.
-vacation in new orleans - this would be a vacation filled with eating. thats about all i want to do there. eat. and search for vampires. and stay in a really nice, southern mansion.
-vacation to lakes/on lakes and lake vacation homes. perhaps next summer....
-redecorating/rearranging - babys room done. front room done, jack's room is next. just going in there makes me want to throw many things away and start all over. hold me back.
-birthday party planning. like i said, post to come.
-menu planning. cooking. eating at as many new restaurants or old ones that i love (Aziza, Sheba, Olio). i am determined to try the strawberry beer at can can's (and have another brisket hash benedict - the stuff dreams are made of). today checked off major Tan A shopping trip and vietnamese bakery for banh mi. the bread was INCREDIBLE and the hot sauce made it awesome. brunch tomorrow - TBD but in the running: stronghill and lamplighter. and lovely husband is letting me go sans baby. tomorrow could be awesome. plus i'm making egg rolls and dumplings. which making isn't so awesome but eating them is.
-birthday gifts for nieces, nephews and daughter. i like to make their birthdays special since christmas is always such a clusterfuck.
-new babies! so many friends having babies recently. very exciting!!
-making it up to the mountains soon. and some sort of peach/berry picking while there would be nice.

baby birthday - one month away

The baby's first birthday is coming up in a month! I cannot believe this little fat thing will be a year old. And she's so incredibly different from a year ago. It is absolutely amazing how much growing a little human can do in their first year. craziness. And with her birthday coming up, I get to do two things I love the most: plan a party (woodland theme!) and shop. first the shopping:

these are awesome, but really unnecessary:

from: http://www.tiffanyard.com/prints.htm

definitely one of these:

she's not walking yet, hopefully she can push this thing along. and i really want to get her her own chair like this:

and most definitely a zoobie. she's also really starting to get into baby dolls and stuffed animals - so maybe a webkin. she loves st hug them and say "awwww". shes turning into such a little girl and not a baby!

i will make a separate post for the birthday party plans. I've already enlisted a planner and a cake master.

I took the baby on a playdate with another fat,blonde, blue-eyed baby (cuteness overload) to stony point to lay in the fountains. we were a little worried it would be a bit much for them - but they both LOVED it. merit had the best time sticking her finger into the water spout and then promptly and repeatedly getting sprayed in the face. but, more importantly, while we were there i stopped into anthropolgie and found two dresses that i must stalk until they go on sale:

and this swim suit that i have been watching for months and still hasn't gone on sale:

ah, if only i had a large gift card to spend there.....or if it was MY birthday.

Nursing rights and following a new pediatrician

There was a recent Giving Birth with Confidence blog carnival focusing on nursing rights. I myself have never had a problem nursing in public - well, never a problem with someone kicking me out of a restaurant, etc. personal problems, yes. When I first ventured out of the house with baby at 2 and 3 weeks old I was extremely hesitant to nurse. Not exactly because I was shy, but more because she and I still did not have the hang of it. The problem was, we were out with my sister in law who, after five kids, was a pro at whipping out the boob anytime, anywhere and keeping herself well covered. So when I got a lot of shit from both her and my husband for not doing it in public, I worked very hard to become super comfortable with it - especially with doing it without any sort of nursing cover. I started with the blanket over baby. Then I finally got myself a nursing cover and attempted to use that when in public. But it just became a hassle. As she got older and I didn't have to support her head as much it became much easier. I shed the nursing cover (which my sister in law also scoffed at) and am now just as comfortable as that mother of five. Probably a bit too comfortable b/c I will now nurse whenever and wherever. I try to be conscious of who I'm around (for example, I nursed in a different room when at a co-workers house, who's wife and neighbors I had met for the first time) and don't get too worked up if I do need to move into another room. Although many advocates would claim my actions were limiting my right to nurse in public, I don't really mind. And often, around friends who don't have children, I ask if they're comfortable with it before I start. Which is funny, b/c out in public, at a restaurant for example, I have no problem nursing. I guess I'm willing to be a little more discreet with people I have to see everyday. But they get used to - as my brothers did after awhile and soon its no big deal. And its nice to know that.

We're shopping around for a new pediatrician. Jack is the one going to all the appointments and he is not impressed by the doctor we go to. Sure, he's a good doctor, and home birth friendly. But according to Jack, "he doesn't tell him anything he doesn't already know or could look up". And we have an issue with another doctor in the practice. The problem with finding a new pediatrician - there are very few who are truly home birth friendly. My home birth group ("Nancy moms") have a running list of doctors they go to that Nancy recommends. Our current pediatrician is on that list. This new pediatrician we are considering is not. But the things I'm learning about him suggest he eventually could be... he is very pro breastfeeding, seems to be willing to attend to different vaccine schedules (not that we care much about that as we vaccinate on a slightly alternate but relatively CDC friendly schedule), and, from what I've been able to find out, has no negative opinion towards home birthing. I'd still like to talk to him before we decide. He has a couple of other pros - self proclaimed soccer fanatic, a twitter account under the name Dr Spiky Hair (is that a pro or con? not sure yet - I'll follow him and find out!), and we know his brother so we can get some inside dirt on him. Hopefully Jack will be willing to pursue this and quit his bitching about the current doc.