on my mind....

-living in the pacific northwest. not any time soon mind you. but it will happen. as long as i can get a job. inspired by parasol party's recent trip. and twilight, of course.
-vacation in new orleans - this would be a vacation filled with eating. thats about all i want to do there. eat. and search for vampires. and stay in a really nice, southern mansion.
-vacation to lakes/on lakes and lake vacation homes. perhaps next summer....
-redecorating/rearranging - babys room done. front room done, jack's room is next. just going in there makes me want to throw many things away and start all over. hold me back.
-birthday party planning. like i said, post to come.
-menu planning. cooking. eating at as many new restaurants or old ones that i love (Aziza, Sheba, Olio). i am determined to try the strawberry beer at can can's (and have another brisket hash benedict - the stuff dreams are made of). today checked off major Tan A shopping trip and vietnamese bakery for banh mi. the bread was INCREDIBLE and the hot sauce made it awesome. brunch tomorrow - TBD but in the running: stronghill and lamplighter. and lovely husband is letting me go sans baby. tomorrow could be awesome. plus i'm making egg rolls and dumplings. which making isn't so awesome but eating them is.
-birthday gifts for nieces, nephews and daughter. i like to make their birthdays special since christmas is always such a clusterfuck.
-new babies! so many friends having babies recently. very exciting!!
-making it up to the mountains soon. and some sort of peach/berry picking while there would be nice.

baby birthday - one month away

The baby's first birthday is coming up in a month! I cannot believe this little fat thing will be a year old. And she's so incredibly different from a year ago. It is absolutely amazing how much growing a little human can do in their first year. craziness. And with her birthday coming up, I get to do two things I love the most: plan a party (woodland theme!) and shop. first the shopping:

these are awesome, but really unnecessary:

from: http://www.tiffanyard.com/prints.htm

definitely one of these:

she's not walking yet, hopefully she can push this thing along. and i really want to get her her own chair like this:

and most definitely a zoobie. she's also really starting to get into baby dolls and stuffed animals - so maybe a webkin. she loves st hug them and say "awwww". shes turning into such a little girl and not a baby!

i will make a separate post for the birthday party plans. I've already enlisted a planner and a cake master.

I took the baby on a playdate with another fat,blonde, blue-eyed baby (cuteness overload) to stony point to lay in the fountains. we were a little worried it would be a bit much for them - but they both LOVED it. merit had the best time sticking her finger into the water spout and then promptly and repeatedly getting sprayed in the face. but, more importantly, while we were there i stopped into anthropolgie and found two dresses that i must stalk until they go on sale:

and this swim suit that i have been watching for months and still hasn't gone on sale:

ah, if only i had a large gift card to spend there.....or if it was MY birthday.

Nursing rights and following a new pediatrician

There was a recent Giving Birth with Confidence blog carnival focusing on nursing rights. I myself have never had a problem nursing in public - well, never a problem with someone kicking me out of a restaurant, etc. personal problems, yes. When I first ventured out of the house with baby at 2 and 3 weeks old I was extremely hesitant to nurse. Not exactly because I was shy, but more because she and I still did not have the hang of it. The problem was, we were out with my sister in law who, after five kids, was a pro at whipping out the boob anytime, anywhere and keeping herself well covered. So when I got a lot of shit from both her and my husband for not doing it in public, I worked very hard to become super comfortable with it - especially with doing it without any sort of nursing cover. I started with the blanket over baby. Then I finally got myself a nursing cover and attempted to use that when in public. But it just became a hassle. As she got older and I didn't have to support her head as much it became much easier. I shed the nursing cover (which my sister in law also scoffed at) and am now just as comfortable as that mother of five. Probably a bit too comfortable b/c I will now nurse whenever and wherever. I try to be conscious of who I'm around (for example, I nursed in a different room when at a co-workers house, who's wife and neighbors I had met for the first time) and don't get too worked up if I do need to move into another room. Although many advocates would claim my actions were limiting my right to nurse in public, I don't really mind. And often, around friends who don't have children, I ask if they're comfortable with it before I start. Which is funny, b/c out in public, at a restaurant for example, I have no problem nursing. I guess I'm willing to be a little more discreet with people I have to see everyday. But they get used to - as my brothers did after awhile and soon its no big deal. And its nice to know that.

We're shopping around for a new pediatrician. Jack is the one going to all the appointments and he is not impressed by the doctor we go to. Sure, he's a good doctor, and home birth friendly. But according to Jack, "he doesn't tell him anything he doesn't already know or could look up". And we have an issue with another doctor in the practice. The problem with finding a new pediatrician - there are very few who are truly home birth friendly. My home birth group ("Nancy moms") have a running list of doctors they go to that Nancy recommends. Our current pediatrician is on that list. This new pediatrician we are considering is not. But the things I'm learning about him suggest he eventually could be... he is very pro breastfeeding, seems to be willing to attend to different vaccine schedules (not that we care much about that as we vaccinate on a slightly alternate but relatively CDC friendly schedule), and, from what I've been able to find out, has no negative opinion towards home birthing. I'd still like to talk to him before we decide. He has a couple of other pros - self proclaimed soccer fanatic, a twitter account under the name Dr Spiky Hair (is that a pro or con? not sure yet - I'll follow him and find out!), and we know his brother so we can get some inside dirt on him. Hopefully Jack will be willing to pursue this and quit his bitching about the current doc.

the baby is growing up...

i'm having a major baby dilemma. it's time for her to move out of our bed and into the crib. and i just don't want to do it! this has been a point of contention with my husband and i for some months now, as she's gotten bigger and has adopted her new favorite sleeping position - head in my chest, feet in dad's back (kick kick kick). i love her sweet snuggly body next to mine all night, b/c she does wiggle right up next to me and it is by far the cutest thing. but i know, although i don't really want to admit it, that moving her into a crib is best for her and us. her late bed time means that i have to be up while she is, sometimes until midnight. and she nurses almost constantly while she's trying to go to sleep which, at a point, drives me up the wall. so going down in her own room would mean much more sleep for mommy. but she still wakes up in the middle of the night to nurse and the idea of having to get up, get her out of bed, nurse her in her room and try to get her to go back to sleep just doesn't appeal to me nor do i think it will be very easy - for me or her. its so much easier to just roll over and let her nurse while i go back to sleep. but maybe she won't want to nurse as much if the milk isn't right in her face. i don't know. and i won't know until we try it. so we're going to try it. i think this weekend. i'm torn - i want this to happen but i don't. but i know realistically that she can't stay in our bed forever and my goal was to have her out by the time she's one. and that time is very soon. i really didn't expect to have such a hard time letting her go.....sad face. any suggestions to make it easier? my first thought was to have her in the cosleeper next to us and then ease her into her room. but now i think that would be worse, b/c we'd be right there but she couldn't be next to us, and that would just piss her off. i also thought putting her down for naps in her crib for awhile first may make her more used to the crib and she'd be more willing to go down at night there. or mayeb let her fall alseep with me in our bed and then move her (but i'm afraid that would piss her off too)? i know only a few moms that do cosleep, but i know all moms have had to move kids into their own rooms. maybe we should have done it much earlier?
we're also trying to discourage the pacifier. it has now been put off limits except at night or naps (although this is not a hard and fast rule b/c it comes out often in the car). i got some great advice from jenny that we need to take it away before she can ask for it. and since she's starting to talk and point at things she wants, now is a good time. i don't even think she really cares - its more for us (terrible, but we really use it to keep her quiet if she's super fussy).
so two big steps to her moving on and growing up. these will probably be harder on mom than anyone else.

and we're back!

Oh my goodness! two weeks have absolutely flown by! and so many changes in my baby over that time i can hardly believe it. South Africa was absolutely amazing. fantastic trip. the baby, despite all my irrational fears, was a perfect little angel on the flight there - even with her first ever cold (the dosings of benadryl to contain copious amounts of snot may have helped). on the flight back she slept almost the entire time too. and we had no problems adjusting to the six hour time change. i think the overnight flight really helps.  we relaxed. slept in until 11:30 every day, drank wine, played with the baby, watched soccer. i went to a glass bead making class which was really cool, although slightly scary lighting the giant torch. we (of course) attended some world cup games, visited a nature preserve and saw elephants, zebra, giraffe, and a lion preserve where we got to pet lion cubs. all in all extremely cool. and miss m started to really get good at pulling herself up to standing, saying "Hi!!" and "Bye!" and "Uh oh..", waving, crawling - especially to find us, and eating solid foods. i mean she just really grew up while we were there. very exciting.
what was really interesting was the culture in regards to children there. first of all people LOVED merit. i mean, how could you not? but seriously - men, women, kids, adults, african, afrikaaner, indian, chinese. it didn't matter. they would hold her (like literally take her and walk around with her - which really freaked out jack but she loved it), talk to her, give her cookies, rub her arms, hold her hands, touch her cheeks, make faces at her. it was crazy. and she totally loved it. we would walk into a place and she would immediately start with her waving and  "hi!hi!hi!" so people would come over to see her. but we saw very few other children her age out. according to jack's mom, although S.A. is child friendly, you'd never see them b/c everyone has nannies and the kids stay at home. very strange. but the other great thing was i got absolutely no looks whatsoever nursing her in public. not on the plane or anywhere else. it was extremely refreshing. these are just things that don't happen in the states. people aren't comfortable with other people's children,people are too scared that some crazy parent is going to accuse them of hurting their child. and of course, it happens and you have to be cautious but i'm afraid we're overly cautious. and its a shame b/c it just makes our children uncomfortable in public. obviously it starts at home, teaching children who is ok to talk to and not, what to do when a stranger asks you into their car...but to just be able to go out and other people enjoy your kid and help you out if you need it without fear of CPS being called on them, it was refreshing. and the breastfeeding in public - so great! i mean, we do it here and i think the attitude is not what it used to be, but there is NO attitude there. it was nice. i'll miss you south africa.

link and life update

Its coming!! We leave in t minus 9 days and i can't even believe it. Baby is all vaccinated up, mom and dad are not (but really, we won't be in the african bush or anything), winter clothes are shipped (but have they arrived? hmm i should really check on that!), oliver is going to hang with his friend copper up in the mountains (remember to bathe him beforehand!), dad will be coming to check on the house and start my car every once in awhile (translate - every day b/c he's so bored!). there are so many things left to figure out like how we're getting to the airport and back. Yesterday we were at a soccer game near the airport and baby cried every time a plane flew overhead. NOT a good sign. But I keep telling myself she'll be fine and I'm sure she will. hopefully. And in the meantime, I have tons to do to get ready, get the house ready, get ourselves ready. I can't wait!
I haven't updated in awhile b/c I haven't felt compelled to write much. I have some things I'd like to discuss, especially after talking with my sister in law about a couple of blogs she's associated with that focus on raising confident, healthy girls in our society (a recent post about thongs for seven year olds comes to mind...) that I may get to today.
Our garden is growing like crazy - yea homemade compost! the downside: a lot of things will be ready while we're gone so we won't get to enjoy any of it. We will also miss all the great things that aren't in our garden that will be at our farmer's market - berries (well, we have berries but the birds usually get them before we do), tomatoes (that too). I keep bitching about things I'm going to miss here and I must remind myself: I will be in south africa. how awesome is that?! And our family will enjoy the garden while we're gone. and take good care of it! right?!
the baby has started crawling. she also pulls her self up to a semi-standing position by leaning on us, the dog, her toys, her cosleeper. basically she gets her feet on the ground and her butt in the air. the crawling is fun but no babyproofing has been done, nor do i think any will be done until we get back from our trip. but it also means she can now crawl out of bed. and by out of bed i mean to the edge of the bed and then off she goes. it hasn't happened but once, where we're pretty sure she landed safely on poor oliver (or at least his bed) which means she is looking at a very close future of naps in her crib. i'm glad dad has to introduce that new fun event b/c i don't think she'll like it. i was almost hoping we could make it straight from our bed to toddler bed (a bit early) but i don't think its going to happen. with all the recent recalls on cribs and the inevitable BAN on drop down cribs i am super uncomfortable with her being in a crib. plus the crib we have is not very sturdy...yea. not stoked on this. our immediate plan is to set up the video monitor on her while she naps so we can see when she wakes up before she starts exploring the edges of our bed. wish us luck!
And today my goal is to get my world cup picks done-ish. I need to do some research...

Link loves:
good tutorials and free patterns:
http://needlework.craftgossip.com/

words cannot even describe how cool this is. my mom and i plan on making our own version:
http://plays-with-needles.blogspot.com/2010/05/right-alice.html
http://www.flickr.com/photos/playswithneedles/sets/72157623938098087/

This is what I want my life to look life, can you imagine her house??
http://annamariahorner.blogspot.com/

My new go-to mac and cheese (sorry spicy mac) - maybe add artichokes and tomatoes?
http://www.saveur.com/article/Recipes/Greek-Mac-and-Cheese

fun mommy blog:
http://themamadramalogues.blogspot.com/

great recipe blog (jesus endorsed!):
http://www.perrysplate.com/
and making this:

http://www.perrysplate.com/2010/04/roast-chipotle-chicken-tacos.html

smells like summer

I love the smell outside right now. It just smells like - Richmond summer. and there is absolutely nothing better than a Richmond summer. And the smell makes me reminisce, and wish i was 16 again, 21 again, even 25 again. and all the years in between. BUT it also makes me so happy for where i am now - because the things i once loved to do have morphed into new things that are just as fun and enjoyed with a new set of friends and family along with a lot of old friends and family. very content right now. thank you smelly Richmond. and in case you were wondering - it smells like flowers and grass and the river and hot. yes, hot smells.
and speaking of things to do, i want to do these two things:
tea tour at maymont
agecroft hall
of course, along with all of the other things to -  lebanese food fest, tuckahoe plantation, berry picking...
so much to do and so little time to do it!
i haven't really been in the garden this season. i know! its terrible. that doesn't mean the garden hasn't been tended to - jack is taking care of them. its just so weird to not be out there weeding on the weekends. but the baby gives me a good excuse, and all of the happenings lately i just haven't had the time. but it needs to be done and i will. i swear. no seriously. soon.
and this time of year means I'm itching to have a cookout, but we have a few coming up at other people's houses that means i don't have to cook (aside from angel food cupcakes...) but can just enjoy. so I'll just plan on the annual 4th of July bash and merit's first birthday to satisfy my need to entertain. and yes, i am already planning merit's first birthday. I'm thinking a fairy garden theme with gnomes and toadstools. but then I'm thinking maybe i don't really want to go all out b/c she won't really remember it and then i won't use up all good ideas. so maybe something more low key? she has three cousins with birthdays right around hers, so we've discussed (and I'm sure in the future there will be many) big joint birthdays. but, as we all know, my birthday is very important to me and i like to make a big deal out of it, so i can only give my daughter the same. and these first few years are probably the only ones where i can do what I want and not what she wants (I'm dreading the dora themed party). i guess the bottom line - i will end up making a big deal of it and having some sort of theme that I would want if i were a kid (alice anyone?) ok. so this is still months away. but it will be a hot topic of conversation for me from now until then I'm sure.
 merit has started trying REALLY hard to crawl. she can push herself backwards (and does - all around the house), but gets very upset when her toys and her mom and dad keep getting further and further away. she can scoot too - one minute she's next to me on the floor, the next she's halfway across the room. so this is leading to the inevitable - babyproofing. our house is small and packed with stuff. especially since jack moved the computer to the front room. I'm looking for a gate i can just wrap around the TV - rather than find a way to tie up all the wiring and Wii that now reside under the TV. outlet guards, fragile things up high..ugh. NOT looking forward to it. i found this thing:

and this:

that would work for wire management. so now I'm on a quest for a baby gate and locks for my cabinets. I'm kind of hoping she won't start until we get back from south Africa. but it doesn't look like its going to happen that way.

I've also started to try to give her "real" food. she's totally into yogurt, baby cereal, her pureed fruits and veggies. for cinco de mayo i gave her her own little fajita - tortilla, peppers, and chicken. she ate a little, but wasn't too interested in it. she wasn't very interested in the green beans last night either. mac and cheese though - she liked that. and she likes rice and bread. i think we're just going to have to start concentrating on feeding her bits of our dinner. it just seems like she's used to getting spoon fed, so she doesn't really want to feed herself anything other than crackers and bread. but this would be way easier for us if she could get the hang of it before south Africa.  (so no to crawling, yes to food)

I'm also so ready for her to be OUT OF OUR BED. yes, i said it. i want her in her own bed. she doesn't go to sleep until almost 11 lately and she kicks constantly while she's trying  to settle down. which means she kicks me - in the belly, in the face, in the legs. it sucks. she's still the cutest angel when she's actually asleep and not tossing and turning. but she lately seems to always be tossing and turning. but again, i don't want to try to put her in the crib and change her whole sleep schedule until we're back from south Africa. i think it would just be way too much for her, plus she'll be sleeping with us there so it'd be pointless to try to teach her to go in the crib and then not have her in one for two weeks. so another month or so....I'm so tired.

thanks blair for mentioning me!